> # Re: talking

> Written by Marnie at 04 Mar 2000 22:33:55:

> As an answer to: talking written by Peter at 01 Mar 2000 22:34:40:

> Hello to Peter. And "thank you" to Bob for answering that question so perfectly. I appreciate it because I'm not as well-spoken as you are and you certainly summed up the reasons why I agreed to have my son circ'd. I say "agreed" because I was against it. It was my husband who wanted it done and for the reasons you metioned in your post.

> Now, to Peter. Here's the thing: I was one mommy in a terrible quandry over this circ issue. I obsessed and cried and carried on about it from the moment I found out I was pregnant with a boy (I was 4 months pregnant when I learned his gender..so it was a trying 5 months, indeed.) I did not want to do it. I took birthing classes and the mid-wife flat out said that circumcision was barbaric. I think I vomitted that night (for real.) I remember wishing I were Jewish because then it wouldn't be my decision to make. It was a very bad time for me. However, after many, many months of spinning around and around in my head, I decided we would go ahead with the circ.

> I did not watch my son being circumcised. I will not look at pictures of children being circ'd and I will never EVER allow myself to witness one first-hand. That's because I believe I made a mistake. Now, I hope I am not sounding like an anti-circer because I am not. My position is, and always will be, that it's up to the parents to decide what is best for their child. In my case, however, I am certain I did not do "what was best" since I cannot get over the anguish I am feeling about it. In addition to the problems my son is experiencing, I think my regrets stem from the fact that circumcisions are performed less and less in the U.S.A. It's about a 60% circ rate on the East Coast and much lower in the West. The falling rate of circ's only added to my anxiety since my son was born on the "cusp", if you will, of the cross-over from circ to no-circ. And, because of that, I worry that my son will be the one feeling like the "odd man out" when he reaches maturity since, by then, circumcision will very likely be a thing of the past.

> I'm rambling. I hope that answered at least some of your questions. I am sure you would get a totally different response from a mom who is happy that her son is circ'd. Maybe you will hear from one.

> Best Wishes...
> --Marnie

> >>I live in USA, New Jersey...you say you are from Germany? Cool!
> >>Nice talking to you...
> >>--The "other" Marnie
> >>
> >>>Happy (cut) greetings from Germany
> >>>Peter
> >Hi Marnie,
> >thank You for posting, too. Let's start "talking"!
> >As You know, I'm from Germany and here is RIC completely unknown (exept turkish people and jews, of course).
> >For me it would be interesting to know, what a mother is thinking, when she decides to go for circumcision whith the child (is it the most normal thing, is it a special kind of care, ...) are you standing besides and look at this procedure performing?
> >What are the feelings of a mother of a circ'd child, when You see his small, circumcised willy? Are You proud of it, do You think it is good for the future wife, do You think that he got propper health-care?
> >Perhaps - or sure - this sounds if I would be anti-circ; but this is not true!!!
> >I'm only interested in knowing these things, because here in Germany this procedure is not routinely performed. I can not talk about this, because no mother or father is doing so!
> >I'm thoroughly convinced, that RIC is not only not a bad thing, there are different advatages! I had been very thankful, if my parents had decided to get me circ'd!!! (I got circ'd for different reasons, when I was 27.)
> >But although this is my conviction I would not have the nerves to fight against all people around me and get a future son circumcised!
> >Perhaps You understand my interest and can answer.
> >Happy (cut) greetings from Germany
> >Peter

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The Origins of a Taboo