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> # Re: Help - A Bit taken back

> Written by Richard at 29 Nov 2001 01:12:23:

> As an answer to: 1616.htm Help - A Bit taken back written by Steve at 28 Nov 2001 21:04:01:

> >Hi
> >I'm 15, and I have been wondering for a while about my foreskin (I have not been circumised).
> >Today, while worrying (like usual) I done a search on google and found out that it should be able to slide it back (I thought this, but didn't know).
> >The reason I didn't know is because I live my just my mum, and its too embarrassing to ask me mates :(
> >
> >Now, on the the head on my penis; the foreskin is connected to the glands (I'm a bit new to the technical terms) via a piece of skin. This stops me rolling my foreskin back (It doesn't even go back far enough to un-cover the entire tip of my penis, let alone the head).
> >
> >Now, I'm a right worryer, and let again I've become really nervous. I haven't had sex, and I'm worried that I won't be able to. Mastubation is painless. And the tip of my penis isn't red or sore. (though I often find my self squenching in a cross between pain and pleasure when cleaning the tip - which is also nearly impossible, trying to get beneath.etc).
> >The skin connecting them together is just one bit, about 1.5mm thick and seems to be coming from the middle of the glands.
> >
> >And *newsflash*, I have just tried again to make sure (don't worry, I have tried it before!) and I can clearly say that it isn't painfull when it reaches its "limit". And it went down about 1cm then. The reason I stop is because I feel a slight bit of pain where the "connecting skin" is, and it really doesn't look as if it could go any further.
> >
> >I Hope you can make some sense for that, as I said, I'm very nervous, and I tend to go on when I'm nervous (like now lol).
> >
> >Thanks, and hope someone can clear that up for me
> >Steve
> >ENGLAND
> >
> >(oh, and I'm a bit iffy about seeing a doctor because my mum would have to know, and I would be too embarrased and scared - I know this is a terrible attitude, but I am very shy)
> >:o)

> Hi Steve

> First off, relax. There's nothing in what you've said to suggest there's anything to worry about.

> Second, well done for looking things up on the internet. We may not be doctors here on this forum, but the reason this forum exists is for people just like you.

> Now, unfortunately the whole 'debate' about foreskins has been somewhat taken over by Americans who become kind of political about the issue of circumcision, simply because for a long time (and in the present) American babies were circumcised practically at birth as a routine. In England it's not so much talked about because we're all so embarrassed about these things.

> I'm not a doctor, but I hope I can give you some advice. I had a similar problem to you, and I did go to a doctor. (I was absolutely petrified I couldn't have sex, because I was so scared it would hurt). The doctor sent me to see a consultant at the hospital, whose attitude was surgery or nothing. I didn't like that attitude, so I didn't get circumcised.

> Since then I've been able to *gently* stretch my foreskin and the little bit of skin underneath joining the foreskin to the main bit of the penis (which is called the frenulum and is just like the bit under your tongue - it's meant to be there). How to do this? Well, in the bath or shower in the morning just experiment very gently as to how far you can pull back your foreskin. It doesn't have to be far to start with. But hold it back as far as you can without hurting, for two or three minutes at a time. Gradually (over a few weeks) it will start retracting further and further without hurting.

> There's no rush. But it's true that if you try to have sex before doing this it will hurt. So be patient with yourself and take your time. It's comforting to learn the names for the detailed bits as this can help you describe (even if it's just to yourself) the way things work. Yes, when you have sex (hopefully with someone understanding who'll want to help) the foreskin is meant to slide back and forth, so that the whole process is gentle and feels nice. No-one told me this when we had sex education lessons at school, so I felt kind of on my own. But you can talk to people about it, including your mum if that feels OK.

> Hope that helps. And don't panic about it. There's lots of young men in your position. I waited until I was 22 before I did anything about it.

> Richard

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