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| I have had about twenty intimate affairs. Melting in love by cuddling was an experience which often left me feeling confirmed as a person, however among many other funny feelings, confidence in my manhood was always lacking. I realise that psychology books have described many reasons for sexual inhibitions and the lack of confirmation in one's sexuality, however the effects of these conditions are mentioned nowhere. At this point, my personal recommendation is to read the section on behavioural symptoms, (on page 14). Unfortunately these subjective functional difficulties scientifically prove very little, therefore, the following section offers an analysis. The situation we will consider is a man who has only to a limited degree if ever, acknowledged his phallus. There is no suggestion that men should be arrogantly or obsessively phallic. ANALYSIS In cases of my kind an analysis is relatively simple. If an individual avoids pain or difficulty (at an unconscious level), this results in an anxiety or apprehensiveness (at an unconscious level). When his experience of masculinity is mixed with an unconscious anxiety how can he develop a realistic sense of confidence or pride as a sexually confirmed male? The following attempt at a general analysis, in addition to further describing my own case, may also help to explain the effects on a man with an extreme phimosis. When the foreskin is fastened, restrained or harnessed, its movement relative to the glans is inhibited. What could be a more direct inhibition of the sexuality than on the phallus itself? When this anatomical restriction is unrecognised and remains unconscious, it is bound to lead to sexual confusion and provide a basis for social and psychological problems. |  | THE BLIND SPOT This anatomical inhibition functions in a similar manner to the generally understood emotional inhibition. Anyone with any sort of inhibition does not experiment as freely in that area, he does not discover, he is not as aware of, and, he probably does not have as much interest in the area. If a boy with these conditions did admire himself, any recognition of, or belief he establishes in his sexual identity would be based on a misunderstanding and misinterpretation of reality, (i.e. it would be based on the misconception that the foreskin is designed to remain forward). He is not as aware of himself, and to remain unaware he could never have compared himself, therefore he is probably not as aware of the male phallus in general. (On seeing pictures of the phallus with a retracted foreskin, I automatically thought that such men must be circumcised). CONSEQUENCES While I maintain that my entire post-puberty emotional development was influenced by this hidden anxiety in my own body, to give individual examples is pointless because any effects on the basic character, emotions, responses etc., are dependant on, and relative to an individual's other experiences (upbringing etc.). There is nothing absolute which can be stated, only that these conditions are compatible with shyness, anxiety, frustration and privacy, and they are incompatible with a relaxed sexuality, openness and leading a simple life. These phenomena have an irrational and disturbing influence on the sexual behaviour, at the very least they would hinder any re-education over sexual inhibitions learnt in childhood. In an adolescent whose basic character was inhibited by upbringing etc., the lack of awareness of his condition may merely allow him less chance of breaking free. Other men may go for years, before the collective experiences resulting from this unconscious anatomical influence have any serious behavioural effects. |
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